A ruler with absolute power.


Sunday, September 26, 2010

Musings 1

A couple few things on my mind.

1) I'm attempting to wrap my head around the phenomena of cigarette withdrawal. As an on and off smoker I have gone weeks and sometimes months without my good ol' Marlboros but lately when I pick up a new pack I get high as a kite after the first smoke. Last night I had my first Cigarette in a couple days and it put me to sleep! I realize some of you can't relate to this feeling, but it starts with increased pulse, head throbbing, a feeling of euphoria and loss of balance and for me general grogginess. Now I can't say this is a bad thing when you're trying to get some rest at 2am but HELL why does my body react so strongly? I can only assume it's Nictotine's extended effect upon my brain. I'll gain clarification some day-- for now:

Oh how I love and despise thee!

 2) I am a student to be and my major of choice will be Biology with intentions for graduate study. When I was younger I wanted to be a Pilot, then I wanted to be an artist, then a musician and then (for a while) I wanted to do nothing but whatever I had planned for the weekend. Do any of you also suffer from career ADD? I know it's a common thing with young adults but I always feel a bit crazy when I think about how many times I have changed my mind-- and being naturally neurotic I dread it happening again. The only comfort I can find is that I have always been fascinated by Science and I love the natural earth. I guess in summation my curiosity is WHAT TRULY DEFINES A PASSION? I think about Darwin and his pursuit of Evolution as an explanation for our species and wonder if he doubted himself like I do, and what carried him through those feelings to become what he is to the Science community now.

Life: It's a beautiful thing

3 (lastly): I consider myself an avid gamer. Is gaming a waste of time?

(This is partially just to push buttons and fill in a 3rd musing)


  1. 1.) I understand the feeling, being a smoker myself. The first smoke of the day always does that to me. That's why I make sure to have it early on in the day instead of on the walk to class/work: so I don't pass out on the way!

    2.) Everyone gets the heebie-jeebies with careers at some point. Same thing with relationships and really any big decisions like that. There's only so long you can be interested by the same thing before it gets boring. The key is to find something that you hate doing LESS than everything else, not something you love to do.

    3.) Hell no, dawg! Gaming isn't a waste of time. Not any more than collecting model trains or building Lego creations or painting mini figurines or making ice sculptures, anyways.

  2. 1) There's a lot of nicotine tolerance done by your body. Perfectly normal ^^

    2)I don't see any problem here =P

    3)Maybe a liiittle. Depends on how much time you spend on it

  3. I remember back when i was younger we couldnt get alcohol, so we would get someone to buy us black and minds and just smoke a those and get a nice buzz. I wish i could still experience that sensation like i did then.